March 6 2010
Feb 8 2010
I've had a rough couple of days... there is no real reason for it naturally- well there is but in general I am blessed beyond belief- I'm even going to get the ditch dreary Nashville and go to Hawaii in two days (then go to Haiti wich will be a complete 180). But you know what I mean- I just can't shake the negativity, the comparing, the wishing "if only..." and "how come..." But I forced myself to pick up my neglected Bible and as always the words jumped off the page and into my heart
"...this happened because Abraham believed in the God who brings the dead back to life and who creates new things out of nothing. Even when there was no reason for hope, Abraham kept hoping-believing..." Romans 4:17-18
friends, we have to keep believing not in the God of our own inventions but the God of Abraham. The true God is the one who brings the dead back to life and who creates new things out of nothing. That means in your life too- your relationships, your career, your dreams, and the dead places in your life. This is also the God who is taking care of the bigger picture things too- like disastrous situations going on in the world right now...
I can't be such a wet noodle- I've got to stand and believe.
Keep hoping, keep believing. We are citizens of Heaven, only ambassadors of Heaven here on earth. We are here on a visa to represent the new reality of Heaven... there is much more beyond today, beyond our lives, beyond our situations... just keep representing God's kingdom of faith, hope and love and we will see the light pushing back the darkness and restoration prevailing over decay...
Love Will Win!
Lara
Feb 4 2010
What's new...hmm well a lot. Everyday I wake up and feel like life is going just a little too good to be true- it almost makes me afraid. Like I'm being set up to fall. But I know that's not true- that's just fear and fear is not going to have any place in my reality.
My thoughts basically revolve around these things: going to Haiti, how I feel about that (scared, compassionate for the people, even selfish that by going I'll feel like I'm doing something good- but I'm human and even if motives aren't always 100% perfect a good work is still getting accomplished). I think about this band that I'm in called The Other I, we just recorded 4 songs. I have a good feeling about the whole thing- like maybe this is going to finally give us each that break into the stratosphere we always wanted to be in... of playing good music we could be proud of and making a living at it. I think about my own music, the album I made called Beloved- how I love it like my own baby- how I want people to know about it and love it too. I can't help it- as it's mother and creator I'm very protective about it- clearly my child is the best... I think about my friends, how I have them. That's a miracle in itself because growing up I didn't have many friends and now I do and they aren't just your average people- I think my friends are so cool. They are creative, passionate, honest, caring, funny, talented... and they want to hang around me? That makes me feel cool too.
I think about how the smallest decision can change the whole course of your life. Like if I go to one coffee shop instead of another I may meet the person I will marry and that will determine the kids I will have and where I will live etc.... but really I don't think about boys too much. What's the point- what will happen will happen and I'm pretty content, actually really happy being single right now. It let's me need friends, creativity and God more... that's just the truth. I can say I would be just the same, just as freed up in my mind and in my ability to do different things if I was married but that's not true.
I think about God too. How he put us here at this time in history. It's really bizarre how we live compared to people living in centuries past. We are always connected to our phones and facebook and ipods. We always have music or a tv going. I tried to entertain myself by walking around in the woods and it was hard because I'm out of touch with silence and nature. I'm on my cell, as I'm driving, watching tv as I'm on the computer. It's just a weird way of life that everyone has accepted as normal. I guess I just have to find the good in it and not let technology and entertainment own me....I wonder where God is in all of it and what He thinks of it.
Anyway...That's what's on my mind for better or for worse- thanks for listening and thanks for giving me the benefit of the doubt...
oh yah one more thing...I love this: romans 2:29 ....it is a change of heart produced by Gods Spirit. And a person with a changed heart seeks praise from God, not from people.
If I have God's spirit it's natural and ok for me to seek praise from God- I want His attention and kudos. Then I won't really have to care what people think. Everyone wants to be wanted, it's just better to want God to want me than people. Cool.
Love will win!
January 18? 2010
I'm sitting at a cool coffee shop, it's a beautiful warm day, everything is great- everything is good and that's the problem. How can it be that a few hundred miles away dead bodies are barricading the streets and people don't have basic human necessities like food and water and I'm here in the lap of comfort and luxury? It doesn't seem fair and I can't really enjoy myself.
I just learned that I made it to the first round of nominations for the Dove Awards New Artist of the year, my family is taking a trip to Hawaii next month, but how can I be happy and excited when children are literally dying- children that I have personally hugged and touched and loved? What hurts me the most is that I don't feel more empathy. I don't feel sick to my stomach and I haven't lost my appetite. But at least I can find comfort in the fact that I want to feel more. Elizabeth Barrett Browning has said "If you desire faith, you have faith enough". So too if you want to feel more empathy, you have empathy enough. Either way New Reality International, the non-profit I'm involved in is doing something to help.
I've been wondering more than ever in the past few days how God could let terrible things happen to people. Well, I don't think we will ever know in this life but all I can think of is that tragedies let the human spirit shine, tragedies polish the human spirit to brilliance. When Haitians are worshipping on Sunday in the rubble and ruins and hopelessness- their hope is like the most brilliant light against such a bleak background. All the people responding wholeheartedly around the world have the chance to shine in such a circumstance. It's a hard thing to say but maybe the lives that were lost are really the payment for progress in Haiti and in each persons heart that is being touched right now. Lives that were crushed are not for nothing. They have awakened the heart of humanity in the world's community. They have been hazard flares in Haiti calling on the world for help rebuild a broken system.
And in all this time, I haven't said a real fervent prayer. I don't know how to pray for such a situation. Where do I even start. I figure "doesn't God love these people more than I do, if He wanted to help them He would without my prayers". But I know that's wrong. So I pray specifically today, and I'm asking specifically of God that no more children would die. I pray that He would save all the children in Haiti right now who are in danger. That they would get food, water and medical care. That God would watch over the orphanages and miraculously protect all the children there right now.
January 11 2010 "I'm Just Saying"
Some of the best I've got for you... In 24 years this is what I've gathered.
If you aren't failing- you aren't trying.
I'd like to fail at the bare minimum one time a day- wether it's writing a lousy song, reaching out to someone who doesn't reach back, going somewhere new where I don't really feel totally comfortable...the point is everyday we should all fail at something.
It's not rejection- it's direction. If I had felt completely comfortable and accepted in my home town I wouldn't have had any reason to leave and go to Nashville. If I had not have felt rejection by certain friends I wouldn't be forced to make new ones,
If I didn't feel rejection from a lot of music people I wouldn't have to work with new ones... Can't be afraid of rejection or what people think. I know easier said than done, but hey I love you and I'll like what you are doing so here is one person that is supporting you.
Don't look back unless you're trying to get material for a song! What's the point. What's done is done and the only one dwelling on the things in your past is you. "No one that puts his hand to the plow and turns back is fit for the kingdom of Heaven" Stop being double minded, stop stopping at every step wondering if you should turn back- it's just a waste of energy.
If you don't feel right doing something- don't do it. Easy- it's your choice.
Stop letting your emotions boss you around- you have a brain for a reason.
The nudge of God is just as important as the booming voice of God- listen to it.
Don't get drunk- just don't.
Don't eat late at night- you'll just get fat. Thin tastes better.
Read the Bible and Pray every single day- Oh how I wish I could do this one thing.
It's fun to worship something bigger than yourself, it's a pleasure to worship a really good God it's not a chore, but sometimes you just have to force yourself to start...
Learning one thing and doing it is better than listening to a million things and not doing them.
Make yourself new everyday. It's easy- die to yourself, live again in Jesus and be the person you want to be not the person you've always felt you were and have to be. If that means changing your look- do it. If it means changing your attitude, your ways, your habits- just do it. And if people don't like that your shaking things up- then tough, that's their problem not yours- truth is no one really cares anyway.
Assume people love you, assume the world is full of opportunities just lying there waiting for you, it's ok to be a little nieve, it's ok to believe, it's ok to hope for the best. That's what faith is after all- hoping for what you can't see. You say when I see it, I'll believe it. I say I'll see it when I believe it.
It's ok to want things really bad and ask for them. That gives God the chance to show up.
They don't tell you what you are worth- you don't tell yourself what you are worth- only the one who created you knows what you are worth and He thinks you are worth a lot- just trust me on this one ;)
Touching leads to kissing- kissing leads to love- love leads to sacrifice. So before you go there with anyone ask yourself if you're in the mood to sacrifice a lot to be with them. If not, just talk over coffee and call it a night.
You don't know everything and neither does anyone else- that's why we need people.
If you are feeling down- pray for someone else.
Smiling attracts friends- do it when you go out.
Makeup attracts friends- do it when you go out.
Perfume attracts friends- do it when you go out.
100% of the time it's better to read than to watch tv.
Answer people's calls (I'm talking to myself here) and e-mails. If you don't people will feel bad and not want to reach out to you anymore. Even if deep down you think they are annoying- just answer their e-mail cuz it's just rude not to. I know it's hard to and it just slips your mind- but the other person is left hanging if you don't. (again, I'm talking to myself here!)
Don't talk about people- it makes you look ignorant and untrustworthy.
You have something to offer the world or you wouldn't be here. So stop comparing yourself to other people and just to your duty to humanity by being you.
Don't delude yourself- be brutally honest with yourself- why are you in that relationship? Because you are afraid to give it up or because it's the very best? Make a firm decision and don't lie to yourself, then just do what you need to do about it. Welcome the pain, don't be afraid of it. You'll cry for a few days, listen to break up songs, read all their text messages and letters, then you'll put all their stuff in a box and stuff it under your bed, then you'll watch movies on your couch alone for a while and then you'll meet someone better for you...hmm does this sound like I'm talking from personal experience???
If it's not out of love- don't do it. If it is- die for it.
Tell yourself this every day: I love Jesus, Jesus loves me- End of story.
ok that's it for now- I put some stuff out there now I have to take my own advice...
Sounds simple right?! ha ha got any good advice?
hmmm...
what can I write about...
answer e-mails
write blog
update website
get coffee, lightbulbs, hairspray,cat food
writing app. tomorrow _11
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bob dylan
joni mitchell
imogen heap
annie lennox
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tracy chapman
Whiplash
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