July 28th 2010
Watch The "Closer" Music Video HERE
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UwKw_dPEA9Q
Luke 9:23-24 " And He said to them all, If any man will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross daily, and follow me. 24 For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me will save it."
My dear friends it is not shocking that I am carrying the cross in this video- it is only a physical picture of what we are all doing!
As followers of Jesus we share a small part of His great suffering and in doing so find true life and freedom!
The cross Jesus bore was the purpose of His life and death.
In life, part of His cross was to live in purity as an example to us, to love all people from prostitutes to tax collectors, to speak the truth and teach those around Him, and to suffer much rejection and humiliation. In death, the cross He bore was literally His death upon it to pay for our sins, trespasses even against Him, and all the weight of the evil of every human being that has ever lived.
So too, the cross we are to carry is part of our purpose in life- it's strange and mysterious- to die to ourselves but to truly live again!
I think it's interesting that Jesus (Yeshua) told His followers to take up their cross- this object that is really a torture and death device. Hmmm what could that mean? He said this before his followers knew that He was going to die on the cross and from then on associate the cross with salvation- no, when Jesus said it, all the cross was associated with was death! Yeshua was saying embrace this device of pain even unto death, deny your flesh even unto death- for only then will you really live! You will live unafraid because you've faced and embraced suffering and there is nothing more to fear! But the trick is that on the other side of death on the cross we see RESURRECTION POWER! When we are willing to embrace our cross unto death of our flesh and embrace the suffering, Yeshua comes in with His power to supernaturally give us life and abundant- overflowing- powerful life.
For me personally, my calling in life to make music and communicate my heart with it has been a big part of the cross I carry. To be honest, when times got too tough, when the music machine broke my heart, when it got heavy and I was weary I dropped my cross- threw it off my back and said I will be happier without this weight on my shoulders! But that's when I learned that I was not happier having no weight to carry, I was no longer suffering for a purpose but suffering because I was purposeless which is a far worse kind of pain! So I asked God to help heal my heart enough and help me pick up my cross again and carry it forward. This is part of the emotion behind this video- hope it encourages you.
Love and peace,
Lara
April 26th 2010
I feel like I need to share with all of you what I've recently had my eyes opened to:
UNITY!
Put away our differences, put away our pride, our "irritation" the he said she said. Relax into the spirit of God and the power it gives us to supernaturally forgive people when they wrong us, look at the big picture, believe and hope for the best even in people who have failed us a hundred times. Stand for truth in true LOVE.
Yes, there is greed, deceit, hatred, impatience, injustice, haughtiness in the world and in us but love conquers all. Not the love we muster up from within ourselves (for we have none on our own) but the love we receive from GOD and can give away.
Love conquers all, it covers a multitude of sin, it is humble, it is strong, it sacrifices it's own life for another (who doesn't deserve it), Love looks for the good, keeps no record of wrongs, it doesn't need to protect or defend itself, it gives itself freely (at no cost or expectation).
"Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up. Therefore, as we have opportunity, let us do good to all people, especially to those who belong to the family of believers."- Galations 6:9-10
When this world passes all that will be left is how much we loved- what else it there?!
Be smarter than that liar the devil who tries to make you turn on your friend and brother! When another family member (believer) stumbles don't attack them but help them back up. We are fighting on the same team remember
March 16 2010
You're amazing. With a year like yours, I'm not sure I'd be standing.
My inspiration. Seen you face each blow with strength I can't imagine.
But it seems lately you're at the very end.
I search for words to help you keep on going...
Look Up. Never turn back.
The last step that takes all your strength may be your new beginning.
There's no shame in being afraid.
Just keep the faith, keep believing.
Look up.
Between two mountains and it seems each day they keep on getting bigger
we pray together but I don't know what to do to make it better, no.
This life is worth the fight I know you'll win.
Jesus sees us and He knows how hard you're trying.
He knows you're trying..
----------------------------------------------------
Do you ever feel just plain tired. Tired of being tired, tired of being stuck. Fed up with being fed up. I hope you haven't, but chances are you have. I have.
It's almost enough to think all those side affects in prescription mood elevators might not be so bad. I'm kidding. Sorta.
Well, I'm not feeling that way now and that's because I have a free will. I've chosen many times to fight the good fight and keep on keeping on, refusing to go numb, refusing to accept defeat, refusing to stay stuck. How? By getting up and going out, seeing people, reading the Bible, thanking God for all that I have, not cursing God for all that I have not. TV has never helped, movies don't really help, food doesn't help- all those things just make it worse. The word of God cuts depression like a sword though and music always helps. When I sit down and start to play, just for me and no one else, just for God and no one else then I start to feel hopeful again.
It was during one of these times that I wrote this song. To be honest I wrote it to encourage myself, but then it meant more for me as it related to a friend of mine and then recently to the people of Haiti.
I hope it encourages you. I hope that you hope. I hope that you fight when you feel like you want to give in an give up. I hope you take that one more step... cuz "Jesus sees us and He knows how hard you're trying". I believe in Jesus even though I don't know Him as well as I'd like to. I believe He loves you and I believe He wants what's good for you better than you want it for yourself. So look up, things are getting better...
March 6 2010
There is a lot I could write about at the moment. Having just got back from Haiti you can imagine- cities made up of nothing more than flimsy sheets stretched across sticks, hundreds of people living in hot tents with amputated legs and arms, a shortage of clean water, hopeless amounts of rubble- all the things we've seen on tv and more. I could tell you about a little girl that was carried in our clinic in a ruffly white Sunday dress almost dead from a sudden attack of meningitis and how we tried to have bigger hospitals (actually just big overcrowded tents with overwhelmed doctors) take her in but they had no room. But I don't want to bombard you with that- I don't want to think about how our work there is just a drop in the bucket. A necessary drop, but a drop nonetheless.
I want to write about a little boy. Last time I was there the kids were my favorite part, but I've never felt like this before. This boy was 10 years old. I spotted him sitting as he watched other kids play basketball with an old deflated ball. The ball hit him and the kids laughed. I asked my young friend Gibson (another of my favorites who speaks some english) to call him over. The little boy limped over and I noticed his shriveled hand. As he sat next to me I looked down at his feet and saw that his toes looked caked with dirt and calloused skin and blood. His skin was dry and dirty. He was wearing torn shorts and a dirty shirt. I asked Gibson "how do you say good?". "Bon" he replied and I said "bon" to the little boy and pointed at him. What could I say? I wanted to tell him he was good even though he was not like the other boys. I wanted to tell him he was handsome even though his hand was deformed, his head swollen, his feet mangled. All I could say was "good".
There is poor and then there is POOR. This little one was POOR and seemed mentally handicapped on top of it. I brought him to the front of the line at the clinic and the doctor, Eric, bandaged his toes. I gave him some of my clean socks, a bag of food, and some clothes. He didn't say more than a few almost inaudible words as we tried to find out who he belonged to and how his feet had gotten two broken toes. He quietly responded that his family came there from the mountains and he had fallen. I followed him to a concrete block where his father, an old looking man with a very dirty ripped shirt emerged and claimed him. I gave him $20 as if that would help.
The next day when I went down to visit with the kids again and receive my daily intake of pure and innocent love from them, I saw my little boy again. I gave him a bouncy ball and this was the first time I saw his big beautiful smile. He was good at bouncing it and running after it shrieking with delight. He or someone had taken off his bandages and once again his feet were covered in dirt but he didn't seem in pain as he played with the ball. It was always hard to leave the kids, mostly because they wouldn't let me but also because I wanted to make sure he was ok.
That night I went to church. It was a night time church service that went from 7 pm to 1 am. I wasn't planning on going the whole time, I just wanted to stop in and see what it was like. I saw my little boy and sat next to him. His smile of recognition melted my heart. Seeing him raise his shriveled hand and sing worship songs pushed me to tears, but having him take my hand and put it on his shoulder as he held it tightly and snuggled in close to me was probably the sweetest moment of my whole life. His smile as he looked up at me was the most innocent thing I've ever seen. I've had many feelings in church but none as holy as this. It was pure love. The love I imagine God created.
I don't even know this little boys name but I miss him. I don't know if he will be there next time I get to go to Haiti, but I will always think of him. He is the reason I want to go back. What is it about someone that is completely innocent and completely helpless that breaks my heart and fills it with love at the same time?
There are kids like him, who are smiling so big, who are playing in the dirt in their "tent cities". They don't know how their situation looks to the rest of the world. They don't know they don't have anything- a home, parents with steady jobs, access to schools and medical care. They have no idea. They are innocent. It's such a contrast to the wrecked landscape. They are beautiful against the piles of rubble as they play in the foul water coming up out of the gutter. But how could people so full of promise and life be forgotten in dust and disease?
No shoes, no purse, no fancy meal, no movie, nothing I've ever spent money on has given me as much joy as the smile of that little boy.
And I wish you could go there yourself and put a face to your desire to do good- it would make it so much more real, it would make it so easy to give if a child took your hand in his.
I just spent 10 dollars on lunch and I wonder why I did that when I could have given it to my little boy and the millions of children he represents. Maybe because I think it won't help and I was hungry. But that routine has got to change. Maybe it wouldn't be so bad if I felt hunger and remembered those kids and put that ten dollars in an envelope marked "Haiti" so I could eventually have enough money to buy a tent, eventually have enough to buy a plane ticket there, and eventually give a tent to a family that is living underneath a sheet as the rainy season approaches and see their gratitude that they will have a plastic floor to lay their babies on instead of a muddy floor this spring. Sending things there does not seem to be cutting it as everything is so absurdly disorganized that supplies get caught up and frozen in customs, red tape, bribes, corruption and never reaches the people that live 20 miles down the busted up roads unless someone takes it their in their own luggage.
Haiti is the popular thing right now for all do- gooders to donate to and that's great. Last time I went to Haiti we flew there in a tiny plane that was 99% black. This time is was a huge plane that was 99% rich white people- I think that's wonderful. But don't give up giving just because other people are giving now. Everyone is just a drop, but we want your drop in the bucket.
I am selfish. And I think every person on that plane to Haiti was trying to save themselves just as much as they were going to save the Haitian people. I don't care why we are helping as long as we are. I'm helping because I'm desperate to do something worthy with my life, so I won't feel guilty and hate myself. I'm helping because I'm addicted to the love and innocence of children who will let me help them. I'm helping because I love seeing them smile and hate seeing them hungry. I'm very selfish in this way and I bet you can be too.
Even here we see that we do good for a personal reward and that is ok.
Then the King will say to those on His right, Come, you who are blessed of My Father, inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world. For I was hungry, and you gave Me something to eat; I was thirsty, and you gave Me something to drink; I was a stranger, and you invited Me in; naked, and you clothed Me; I was sick, and you visited Me; I was in prison, and you came to Me. Then the righteous will answer Him, Lord, when did we see You hungry, and feed You, or thirsty, and give You something to drink? And when did we see You a stranger, and invite You in, or naked, and clothe You? When did we see You sick, or in prison, and come to You?The King will answer and say to them, Truly I say to you, to the extent that you did it to one of these brothers of Mine, even the least of them, you did it to Me. Matthew 25:34-40
Feb 8 2010
I've had a rough couple of days... there is no real reason for it naturally- well there is but in general I am blessed beyond belief- I'm even going to get the ditch dreary Nashville and go to Hawaii in two days (then go to Haiti wich will be a complete 180). But you know what I mean- I just can't shake the negativity, the comparing, the wishing "if only..." and "how come..." But I forced myself to pick up my neglected Bible and as always the words jumped off the page and into my heart
"...this happened because Abraham believed in the God who brings the dead back to life and who creates new things out of nothing. Even when there was no reason for hope, Abraham kept hoping-believing..." Romans 4:17-18
friends, we have to keep believing not in the God of our own inventions but the God of Abraham. The true God is the one who brings the dead back to life and who creates new things out of nothing. That means in your life too- your relationships, your career, your dreams, and the dead places in your life. This is also the God who is taking care of the bigger picture things too- like disastrous situations going on in the world right now...
I can't be such a wet noodle- I've got to stand and believe.
Keep hoping, keep believing. We are citizens of Heaven, only ambassadors of Heaven here on earth. We are here on a visa to represent the new reality of Heaven... there is much more beyond today, beyond our lives, beyond our situations... just keep representing God's kingdom of faith, hope and love and we will see the light pushing back the darkness and restoration prevailing over decay...
Love Will Win!
Feb 4 2010
What's new...hmm well a lot. Everyday I wake up and feel like life is going just a little too good to be true- it almost makes me afraid. Like I'm being set up to fall. But I know that's not true- that's just fear and fear is not going to have any place in my reality.
My thoughts basically revolve around these things: going to Haiti, how I feel about that (scared, compassionate for the people, even selfish that by going I'll feel like I'm doing something good- but I'm human and even if motives aren't always 100% perfect a good work is still getting accomplished). I think about this band that I'm in called The Other I, we just recorded 4 songs. I have a good feeling about the whole thing- like maybe this is going to finally give us each that break into the stratosphere we always wanted to be in... of playing good music we could be proud of and making a living at it. I think about my own music, the album I made called Beloved- how I love it like my own baby- how I want people to know about it and love it too. I can't help it- as it's mother and creator I'm very protective about it- clearly my child is the best... I think about my friends, how I have them. That's a miracle in itself because growing up I didn't have many friends and now I do and they aren't just your average people- I think my friends are so cool. They are creative, passionate, honest, caring, funny, talented... and they want to hang around me? That makes me feel cool too.
I think about how the smallest decision can change the whole course of your life. Like if I go to one coffee shop instead of another I may meet the person I will marry and that will determine the kids I will have and where I will live etc.... but really I don't think about boys too much. What's the point- what will happen will happen and I'm pretty content, actually really happy being single right now. It let's me need friends, creativity and God more... that's just the truth. I can say I would be just the same, just as freed up in my mind and in my ability to do different things if I was married but that's not true.
I think about God too. How he put us here at this time in history. It's really bizarre how we live compared to people living in centuries past. We are always connected to our phones and facebook and ipods. We always have music or a tv going. I tried to entertain myself by walking around in the woods and it was hard because I'm out of touch with silence and nature. I'm on my cell, as I'm driving, watching tv as I'm on the computer. It's just a weird way of life that everyone has accepted as normal. I guess I just have to find the good in it and not let technology and entertainment own me....I wonder where God is in all of it and what He thinks of it.
Anyway...That's what's on my mind for better or for worse- thanks for listening and thanks for giving me the benefit of the doubt...
oh yah one more thing...I love this: romans 2:29 ....it is a change of heart produced by Gods Spirit. And a person with a changed heart seeks praise from God, not from people.
If I have God's spirit it's natural and ok for me to seek praise from God- I want His attention and kudos. Then I won't really have to care what people think. Everyone wants to be wanted, it's just better to want God to want me than people. Cool.
Love will win!
January 18? 2010
I'm sitting at a cool coffee shop, it's a beautiful warm day, everything is great- everything is good and that's the problem. How can it be that a few hundred miles away dead bodies are barricading the streets and people don't have basic human necessities like food and water and I'm here in the lap of comfort and luxury? It doesn't seem fair and I can't really enjoy myself.
I just learned that I made it to the first round of nominations for the Dove Awards New Artist of the year, my family is taking a trip to Hawaii next month, but how can I be happy and excited when children are literally dying- children that I have personally hugged and touched and loved? What hurts me the most is that I don't feel more empathy. I don't feel sick to my stomach and I haven't lost my appetite. But at least I can find comfort in the fact that I want to feel more. Elizabeth Barrett Browning has said "If you desire faith, you have faith enough". So too if you want to feel more empathy, you have empathy enough. Either way New Reality International, the non-profit I'm involved in is doing something to help.
I've been wondering more than ever in the past few days how God could let terrible things happen to people. Well, I don't think we will ever know in this life but all I can think of is that tragedies let the human spirit shine, tragedies polish the human spirit to brilliance. When Haitians are worshipping on Sunday in the rubble and ruins and hopelessness- their hope is like the most brilliant light against such a bleak background. All the people responding wholeheartedly around the world have the chance to shine in such a circumstance. It's a hard thing to say but maybe the lives that were lost are really the payment for progress in Haiti and in each persons heart that is being touched right now. Lives that were crushed are not for nothing. They have awakened the heart of humanity in the world's community. They have been hazard flares in Haiti calling on the world for help rebuild a broken system.
And in all this time, I haven't said a real fervent prayer. I don't know how to pray for such a situation. Where do I even start. I figure "doesn't God love these people more than I do, if He wanted to help them He would without my prayers". But I know that's wrong. So I pray specifically today, and I'm asking specifically of God that no more children would die. I pray that He would save all the children in Haiti right now who are in danger. That they would get food, water and medical care. That God would watch over the orphanages and miraculously protect all the children there right now.
January 11 2010 "I'm Just Saying"
Some of the best I've got for you... In 24 years this is what I've gathered.
If you aren't failing- you aren't trying.
I'd like to fail at the bare minimum one time a day- wether it's writing a lousy song, reaching out to someone who doesn't reach back, going somewhere new where I don't really feel totally comfortable...the point is everyday we should all fail at something.
It's not rejection- it's direction. If I had felt completely comfortable and accepted in my home town I wouldn't have had any reason to leave and go to Nashville. If I had not have felt rejection by certain friends I wouldn't be forced to make new ones,
If I didn't feel rejection from a lot of music people I wouldn't have to work with new ones... Can't be afraid of rejection or what people think. I know easier said than done, but hey I love you and I'll like what you are doing so here is one person that is supporting you.
Don't look back unless you're trying to get material for a song! What's the point. What's done is done and the only one dwelling on the things in your past is you. "No one that puts his hand to the plow and turns back is fit for the kingdom of Heaven" Stop being double minded, stop stopping at every step wondering if you should turn back- it's just a waste of energy.
If you don't feel right doing something- don't do it. Easy- it's your choice.
Stop letting your emotions boss you around- you have a brain for a reason.
The nudge of God is just as important as the booming voice of God- listen to it.
Don't get drunk- just don't.
Don't eat late at night- you'll just get fat. Thin tastes better.
Read the Bible and Pray every single day- Oh how I wish I could do this one thing.
It's fun to worship something bigger than yourself, it's a pleasure to worship a really good God it's not a chore, but sometimes you just have to force yourself to start...
Learning one thing and doing it is better than listening to a million things and not doing them.
Make yourself new everyday. It's easy- die to yourself, live again in Jesus and be the person you want to be not the person you've always felt you were and have to be. If that means changing your look- do it. If it means changing your attitude, your ways, your habits- just do it. And if people don't like that your shaking things up- then tough, that's their problem not yours- truth is no one really cares anyway.
Assume people love you, assume the world is full of opportunities just lying there waiting for you, it's ok to be a little nieve, it's ok to believe, it's ok to hope for the best. That's what faith is after all- hoping for what you can't see. You say when I see it, I'll believe it. I say I'll see it when I believe it.
It's ok to want things really bad and ask for them. That gives God the chance to show up.
They don't tell you what you are worth- you don't tell yourself what you are worth- only the one who created you knows what you are worth and He thinks you are worth a lot- just trust me on this one ;)
Touching leads to kissing- kissing leads to love- love leads to sacrifice. So before you go there with anyone ask yourself if you're in the mood to sacrifice a lot to be with them. If not, just talk over coffee and call it a night.
You don't know everything and neither does anyone else- that's why we need people.
If you are feeling down- pray for someone else.
Smiling attracts friends- do it when you go out.
Makeup attracts friends- do it when you go out.
Perfume attracts friends- do it when you go out.
100% of the time it's better to read than to watch tv.
Answer people's calls (I'm talking to myself here) and e-mails. If you don't people will feel bad and not want to reach out to you anymore. Even if deep down you think they are annoying- just answer their e-mail cuz it's just rude not to. I know it's hard to and it just slips your mind- but the other person is left hanging if you don't. (again, I'm talking to myself here!)
Don't talk about people- it makes you look ignorant and untrustworthy.
You have something to offer the world or you wouldn't be here. So stop comparing yourself to other people and just to your duty to humanity by being you.
Don't delude yourself- be brutally honest with yourself- why are you in that relationship? Because you are afraid to give it up or because it's the very best? Make a firm decision and don't lie to yourself, then just do what you need to do about it. Welcome the pain, don't be afraid of it. You'll cry for a few days, listen to break up songs, read all their text messages and letters, then you'll put all their stuff in a box and stuff it under your bed, then you'll watch movies on your couch alone for a while and then you'll meet someone better for you...hmm does this sound like I'm talking from personal experience???
If it's not out of love- don't do it. If it is- die for it.
Tell yourself this every day: I love Jesus, Jesus loves me- End of story.
ok that's it for now- I put some stuff out there now I have to take my own advice...
Sounds simple right?! ha ha got any good advice?
hmmm...
what can I write about...
Apparently There is Nothing
that Can't Happen Today
-Einstien
If you desire Faith, you have faith enough
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